You get a terse text from a friend that seems harsh.

Too busy this week

For some reason the text feels like hitting your face against a glass door. Ouch. And you can’t seem to get it out of your mind. Maybe your friend is mad at you for being sick when they had their party? Or they are enjoying hanging out with other friends more than you?

For some of us, this scenario can sound oh, too familiar. An interaction causes this little ripple of uncertainty and we begin to question our moves or motives. We must have done something wrong. This feels particularly heightened for people who are empaths as they are tuned into the thought and feeling vibrations of others. When you receive the text you could be picking up your friend’s anger or frustration at their overbooked schedule. But all you feel is the anger and frustration, and assume it is something you did.

One of my longtime friends who I’ve spent the last couple of decades with riding horses or on front porches talking about self-awareness and the inner workings of relationships coined the phrase long ago – it’s not about you. So as he and I would converse about our challenges in relationship we would often remind each other of this phrase.

It’s not about you.

Fast forward twenty-five years and lots of life experience, and this little mantra keeps creeping back into my mind as I continue evolving as an empath and working with so many brilliant empaths. Whatever people are feeling and thinking, it’s not about you.

I am not suggesting you yell at someone for being slow in the grocery store line and when they react you assume it is not about you. We are responsible to respect other beings and take appropriate action as often as we can. In essence, the next time you feel overwhelmed by what someone says or doesn’t say, take it as a sign to investigate. Investigate your feelings and your reactions. Be curious. When your friend says she is way too busy how does it make you feel? Like you don’t matter or she doesn’t love you? Is there a way you can reassure yourself or reach out to another person to help you recalibrate back to the space of love? Or do you notice that when she says she is too busy, you feel a rush of anxiety? Does this feel like your energy or does it feel like hers? Can you journal about it, do yoga, meditate, use EFT or take a walk? Or something to help you align to your center and not be overly involved in someone else feelings?

We are 100% responsible for our states of being – what a powerful state space to from which to create our lives! And to continue down the path of empowerment, we must continue to find firm ground and cultivate an inner awareness to build a healthy state of being. So let’s claim our space in the sun and allow others to claim their space in the sun.

Sending buckets of love and light.