I found myself hiking the foothills open space trails last weekend because my local sanctuary, Sandia National Forest is closed due to extreme fire danger. The foothills trails are at the base of the Sandias and are used by bikers, hikers, folks with short dogs, tall dogs and small children. Unlike the pine and aspen forests of the Sandia Mountains, this area is mostly desert without shade- cholla, junipers and jackrabbits. As I wound around the trails I found myself heading down a step trail and met a woman at the knoll and asked her if she was a regular walker and what route she usually took.
She went on to tell me a long story of an encounter with a person with five off-leash dogs and a blow-by-blow of a traumatic event that happened to her over ten years ago. The story was intense and I felt tight in my jaw and stomach. As I walked away she said something about being sorry to tell me all of that.
In the moment when my intention was to glean some trail blazing information, she shared her trauma and a story that was obviously deeply impacting her.
It made me think about how often we lead with our stories in encounters. It might be our frustration with how our boss doesn’t credit us or our sore lower backs or how we feel misunderstood in a recent conversation. I am not trying to minimize challenging experiences. I am questioning how to be mindful of how our standing stories might be affecting our lives in ways we are not completely aware of.
Are there stories that might be leading our lives either consciously or unconsciously that we don’t know about? As we head toward the full moon I wonder if we can take time to notice what we say internally or to other people. Notice, without judging yourself, what you tell your close friend when you meet them for tea or what you tell a family member after not speaking with them for a few months. Or the story that is caught on a hamster wheel in your head. Are these things that we want to reinforce about our lives? If we step back from the stories by maybe exploring them in a journal, handwritten or typed, are there themes that show up? Like experiencing lack or feeling like a victim in some way or an old resentment.
Maybe on this full moon we can explore the stories and get to the root of themes that are no longer serving us. And then we can open up to releasing those parts of our stories that hold us back, so during the next newmoon we can plant seeds to create our new story.
Happy Solstice full moon dear ones. Sending love and light.